Fake fettuccine!

This evening I broke out an old standby recipe that I stole (from a forum I think) when I was ‘doing’ Tony Ferguson in 2006.

I’ve really been craving a massive bowl of pasta lately – we’re talking at least half a latina tortellini family pack. If I’d planned ahead I could have maybe had a little portion of the stuff, but I know I’d have to bin well over 3/4 of the pack immediately to avoid seconds syndrome. Expensive, and I’d have been hungry a few minutes later.

So for anyone who’s craving a pasta here’s what I do…

Get your ingredients… really the only vital thing we’re looking at here is a zucchini. I rock a tomato based sauce with garlic and a little lite cheese, but you might like a pesto, or a light cream based sauce for your delicious meal.

herbs, garlic, salsa, cheese, zuccini, and tomato pastePut a pan with water in it on the stove (don’t forget to turn on the hotplate, add salt to the water here too if you’re inclined to be a salty wench or pirate).

still water in a silver pan on a hotplateWhile your water is reaching a boil – don’t watch, it doesn’t help – take a potato peeler and go to town on your zucchini! You should end up with a nice little pile of thin zucchini ribbons that will form the base of your fettuccine.

Zuccini peeled into fettuccine thin strips with a potato peelerMeasure out the portions of whatever topping you want to use – don’t over indulge when you’re aiming for cal control – this is the MOST important step. You’ll note here I didn’t have any pasta sauce, or actual tomato handy, salsa to the rescue!

kitchen scales with all ingredientes in little plastic container portionsNotice your water is boiling.

Pop in your zucchini and PAY ATTENTION, because this stuff will turn to mush in a minute, you want to just give it a quick hit of the water to make the strips hot and tender, then get those puppies OUT of the water. You’ll get better at this over time, I promise. It helps if you ever worked in a pasta resturant, you can cold rinse the strips if you want at this point – I live on the edge and don’t bother.

'Fettuccine' in the water being watched carefully. Take your particular sauce and get saucy with it – my garlic, basil, salsa and paste concoction just needed heating up.

Mix through your ‘fettuccine’ or add on the top, whatever floats your boat 🙂

Yummy cheese on top of salasa topped 'fettuccine'DON’T DROP YOUR CAMERA IN THE FOOD FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY (if you do isocol might save your lens – just saying LOL),

Add cheese if you’ve got room in your food budget and ENJOY!


    1. It’s amazing what you can do with a cauliflower when carbs are out – did you try the potato mash replacement called ‘no’tatos? Add a touch of light cream cheese, or a little skim milk to tender cauliflower (no stems) and blend/mash. Yum!

      One particularly enterprising forum member actually managed to make a bread replacement with the vanilla shake mix, that’s a special kind of determined, LOL.

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